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Category: Existentialism (Page 1 of 2)

Trust me

In the movie Trust, Maria and Matthew, the two main characters, feel alone and separated from everyone else around them. Matthew is stuck with his father as he keeps quitting every job he finds. Maria’s mother won’t forgive her for giving her father a heart attack. Their strict families always judge them and limit their freedom and choices, and they represent society, trying to force its own meaning on them, instead of letting them create it themselves. Until they both say no to the expectations that they fit into society.

As they form a relationship, their trust in each other becomes a choice that creates their own meaning. But it’s a risk they’re both willing to take; throughout the movie, they’re the only ones who listen and understand each other. Their relationship becomes an act of resistance and freedom towards the society that always finds itself against them. Although existentialism says that life has no meaning, their trust in each other is something they choose to give meaning. It gives them direction to their very lost lives. The ending of the movie, though, definitely conveys the reality of enforcing societal norms when Matthew goes to prison. It shows how well society defends the existential approach, and how hard it is to follow.

The Stolen Baby Named Maria

In the film Trust, Maria undergoes a period of what most people would call an “existential crisis” after the death of her father. I would argue that her father’s death was not the true catalyst in her spiral towards self-reflection, though. I believe that meeting the woman at the gas station and her involvement with the stolen baby was what sent Maria off, almost forcefully starting her on her journey of finding her authentic self.

Once Maria and this woman had shared parts of their personal lives with each other, Maria felt she had some sort of unspoken connection with the lonely woman and with the experiences she shared with her. What really drew Maria to the woman was the stolen baby. It was as if Maria and the woman shared this part of each of their devastating stories with each other. Maria, at the time, was pregnant, and the woman was desperate for a baby to bring joy back into her life.

The disappearance of this baby, I believe, symbolized in a way the disappearance of the “old” Maria. The transition from the naive, youthful version to the dependent, serious one. Not that Maria was “innocent” before, but that sense of not knowing the ways the world could hurt you vanished from her identity after the baby vanished with this mystery woman.

Towards the end of the film, when Maria tracks down the woman’s husband and eventually shows up at their doorstep to see the woman, she finds that the woman had left the baby in a telephone booth. The entire lead-up to this moment, to finding the mystery woman and uncovering what had become of the baby, all seemed at the time, pointless. Especially because of the more serious events going on in Maria’s life, the whereabouts of a baby were not nearly as important as everything else happening around her. Except, Maria couldn’t seem to let it go. She was drawn to the woman and the missing baby despite the obvious fact that she had no goal or no idea what she was actually looking for or trying to accomplish.

The baby in the telephone booth was unharmed and found by the police. Maria faces a similar fate, being in the hands of what the public thought was a threat, aka Matthew and his grenade, but being scooped up by the police unharmed. In this parallel, the mystery woman and Matthew were both made out to be the monsters in their separate situations. But, in both cases, Maria knew that they were far from this, and she understood why they did what they did. Through this experience of truly seeing both of these people, for their heart and soul and not for their outward actions, Maria was transformed. She shed her selfish skin and became a selfless being who yearned to understand others, even when they resisted her. Untouched by a single lick of harm, Maria went through the most painful experience of truly understanding another human being.

 

 

Existentialism in Fight Club

After the lecture from evil Mr. Heidkamp and throughout The Stranger I thought a lot about characters with existentialist identities, and Tyler Durden was the first person who came to mind. The line he uses to the narrator that stuck out to me was, ‘stop trying to control everything and just let go”. Tyler means for the narrator to not only let go of the steering wheel, which would end up leading them into a car accident, but he truly means that the narrator needs to completely hit rock bottom and get rid of his societally programmed self.

Another quote that stuck with me was “advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don’t need”. At all costs, Tyler attempts to push his existentialist identity onto his peers by urging them to detach from all materialistic views. He tries to get the narrator to destroy himself to realize that the only way to find authenticity is to detach yourself from possessions (“the things you own end up owning you”).

While Durden’s expression of this idea is very different from Meursault’s in The Stranger, they have a similar system of beliefs. Durden attempts to spread this system of beliefs like a religion, while Meursault just lives it out for himself through his honesty and emotional detachment.



The Hypocrisy of The Stranger

The Stranger is an amazing book giving an amazing insight into the hypocrisy of man. Wanting to be understood yet refusing to understand others around us. Meursault cannot comprehend why others don’t understand his dissociation with reality and indifference to life, yet he also can’t understand why others hold such importance in life. This causes him to be some form of a hypocrite, judging people for not understanding him while simultaneously not understanding their perspective nor emotions.

Meursault goes around not caring about others nor himself, he doesn’t much care for politics, or has many hobbies of his own. He has no real connections to reality, even his own mother did not hold much weight in his life. While it is apparent he loved his mother, their relationship was not as important to him as others’relationship to their mother. He doesn’t understand his friends, nor even Marie for that matter. He doesn’t understand why they want to be around him in any sense or form, let alone one on a personal level. Because he cannot understand it on an emotional level, he attempts to break it down with logical thinking.

He is unable to see how life matters, the story can be interpreted as him beginning to understand. Him beginning to see the joy in life, the same way everyone else does. He gets glimpses of the beauty of life when he’s alone with Marie, those moments where we see Meursault be truly happy. Though they are fleeting and not permanent, the first time he truly understands the joy life can bring is through his death. He finally comes to peace with himself and the world around him, and the life he lived. Understanding how indifferent the world is, and how while in a logical sense nothing truly matters. It is because of that fact that you are supposed to live life to its fullest, as who can really judge you when nothing matters.

 

So… How Should we Live?

Existentialism, the profound main idea in the book The Stranger, asks a hard question: If life has no inherent meaning, how should we live? Instead of writing a philosophical paper about how to fully live your life, he writes a story about a character, Meursault, who lives by this philosophy.

What makes Meursault different from everyone else in the story is that he is brutally honest. He never lies about his feelings, and he doesn’t give meaning to something that doesn’t have any. During the trial, everyone judged him for not conforming emotionally. And Meursault, just by being himself, shows how often we live to meet social standards.

Now, clearly, Meursault’s actions were at the very least a little problematic, and over-dramatized the philosophy of absurdism. So the point to take away here isn’t to be careless about everything, but maybe to take a step back and remember why you’re doing everything in the first place.

Death’s Meaning in Trust and The Stranger

At the start of the movie titled Trust, Maria slaps her father after he insulted her for becoming pregnant, which resulted in his death. Although the slap may not have been the cause of his death, Maria’s mother blamed her for the incident and kicked her out of their home. Similarly, in the book titled The Stranger, by Albert Camus, Meursault is notified about the death of his mother.

Despite not being blamed for the death of his mother, Meursault and Maria have similar characters because of their reactions to their parents’ deaths. Merusault clearly states that he was indifferent to the situation, but would prefer if his mother had lived. His reaction to her death revealed how emotionally detached he is to everyone around him. Maria, although feeling stressed about the entire problem, seemed to not care specifically about the death of her father. She may have had some guilt, but she didn’t outwardly express any sadness towards the death of her father.

Even though their views seem to be extremely different, Maria’s reaction to her mothers death, along with her meeting Matthew, a Friedrich Nietzsche follower, is hinting at the development of a similar philosophy that Meursault believed in nearing the end of the story.

No One is Free from Emotion

In Albert Camus’s The Stranger, Meursault is often displayed as an emotionless sociopath who is indifferent to the world around him. However, throughout the novel’s entirety Meursault has emotional responses to the events happening around him, like putting multiple bullets in a dead man rather than one, or literally feeling the heat of the moment.

Although most would deduct this as solely a physical response to things Meursault is able to feel, it is instead Meursault’s preferred method of handling emotions. He expresses the intense heat as a great pressure placed upon him and the extreme climate as blinding. When he shoots the Arab, he even questions himself as to why he had shot him so many times, as one often would questions their decisions when filled with emotion.

Meursault, although contradicting the norm of working through emotions, he is still shown having emotional responses through the text. Although it is not appropriate to say he has a normal emotional response to situations, it is at the same time not appropriate to say he lacks a complete emotional response. Meursault is a complex character who has demonstrates depth through expressing himself via his response to physical stimulus.

Resisting Existentialism

I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Stranger by Albert Camus. I viewed it as a vacation in a way. When I observed the working mind of Meursault, I felt stress-free and peaceful. I believe that everybody who reads The Stranger should be relaxed while reading this book, and treat it with the same sense of zen as you would when reading a fairy tale.

This is not to say that the novel is anything close to a fairytale. But more so, I find it difficult to adopt the same mindset as Meursault, which means that my only option is to observe his story play out on paper with a detached point of view. For those existentialists out there, this may not be the case. But for those who do not think that life is meaningless, or who value the systems that give life meaning, like work, family, and friends, the only rational way to go about discussing The Stranger would be to discuss it from the point of view of a tourist visiting a foreign country.

I would say this is the only way to view the novel, because by fully immersing yourself in Meursault’s way of thinking, you sanction the sudden impending doom that surrounds the idea of existentialism and its beliefs in nothingness. The sinking pit that grew from the idea that love, dreams, and passions mean nothing in this world can only be avoided, or at least prolonged, by detaching oneself from the main ideology of the novel and merely reading as an observer.

Camus’s writing abilities are extraordinary, and he brings you along for the ride with Meursault if you are not careful. Being swept up within literature is a beautiful thing, but in the case of a novel so deep in the idea of existentialism, a belief that many of us, including myself, have not been able to accept yet, I would prefer to stay with my feet firmly planted and observe from ground level.

Meursault And Humanity

Albert Camus’ novel The Stranger presents the reader with the character of Meursault who spends much of the novel defying the reader’s expectations. He is a character so complex that it makes it difficult to predict what he will do in any given situation. He is indifferent in situations such as his mother’s death or his neighbor’s misdeeds, but he emotion is so easily brought out of him by the prison chaplain and even the sun. His strange outlook has caused many, especially his prosecutor, to consider him inhuman. The problem with all of this is that what exactly humanity means changes from time to time and place to place. His prosecutor defines it in the manner that humanity is the ability to have an emotional reaction to loss as he so vehemently argues in his case. The jury seems to agree with this definition of humanity as they give him the death penalty. In his final moments with the chaplain, however, Meursault redefines humanity in his own way. Humanity is the ability to choose how to live one’s life. This comes as contradictory as throughout this story he is the only character who seemingly does not choose. He is blown around in the wind never saying no or taking any opinions whatsoever. It is only in his final moments that he realizes, humanity is about choice, and despite Meursault’s seeming to never choose, he chose to live that way.

Religion is Fake

Although religion plays a role in forming communities in today’s society, The Stranger by Albert Camus articulates on the idea that religion is overlooked and used to follow society’s morals that “defines” what life is.  Towards the end of the story, a priest comes into Meursault’s cell to guide him that he should finally pick up the bible and follow God’s footsteps in his final days to repent for his sins. While he was expecting Meursault to understand and listen to him, he denies and wants to spend the rest of his life the way he wants to. The priest is very upset with this decision and continues to push him but Meursault makes the point that everyone’s life ends at one point so what matter does it make (120-122). Despite the fact that this idea is harsh, he’s not so wrong. Whether you believe in a religion or not, one day you will die and it is inevitable no matter what you do. I would claim that this outburst is justifiable due to the reason that he should not have to follow societal norms.

This topic specifically is very interesting to interpret because of the impact religion has today and how much division sprouts from it. I believe this specific scene is a cloak to disguise the rest of society norms and how useless they are when it comes to the real meaning of life. The global average lifespan is 73 years and whether you do something with your life or not, everyone ends at the same point.

True existentialism cannot be achieved

Is true existentialism even achievable? In The Stranger, we see Meursault as an embodiment of this philosophy, but I don’t think he actually embodies this philosophy, or completely anyway. An existentialist would be happy with just themselves, right? But I wouldn’t characterize Meursault as a happy character; he never expresses happiness, and he mostly says he’s annoyed or intrigued by others. And when he’s alone in jail, where if he were truly an existentialist, he would be content by himself, but he wishes for a woman, and at the very end of the book, he hopes that people come to his execution, so he isn’t alone? I’m not sure about that last part; I could have misunderstood it. But either way, I just don’t believe  Meursault is a perfect existentialist; he embodies parts of what it means, but I think it’s just impossible for people to live completely in that way until they are at the end of their life, like Meursault or Maman, when they finally came to terms withtheir death coming, his happiness came from within them. I think the Stranger just showed me that it is impossible for people to just be happy or rely on their happiness from just themselves until they come to the end of their lives.

Religion: Ridiculous or comforting?

During class we began discussing the meaning of life. The main conclusion we were left with was that, life is absurd. We put systems in place like, family, success, faith, and religion to attempt to disguise that fact.

Religion is a complicated thing, and beliefs differ from faith to faith, but also person to person. However complex religion is, at its core it is existentialist. The idea of religion is having complete faith in a higher power to find meaning in your life. Something like God in which we have no way of proving real. Society uses it as a tool to overcome grief, death, and other hardships.

Regardless of the fact that Religion might be a social construct, it has immense value. Through religion humans find connections, community, and comfort. In the novel, The Stranger by Albert Camus, the main character Meursault completely rejected religion. We see this when he completely loses it on the Chaplain just before his execution. Ridiculing him for his belief on God and shaming him for trying to force it on him during his last moments of life.

Throughout the story Meursualt is a representation of existentialist ideas, one of those being that Religion is pointless, and god isn’t real. He is completely entitled to that belief as religion is a form of expression, and can look different for everyone. While saying that Meursault ends his life completely alone. Clearly he is able to find contentment in that, but not everyone can.

No matter how seemingly ridiculous religion might feel to the Mersualts of the world, to many people, religion is a comfort. For those who can’t fully embrace existentialist beliefs, religion is a wonderful tool to find community, comfort, and your own unique meaning of life.

“Would You Date Meursault?”

A lingering question asked in the fishbowl, “Would you date Meursault?” This question may seem out of place and not relevant, but try to think of your answer. When putting into consideration his relationship with Marie, we only really experience it through his eyes and his mind. He really sounds like the last person you wanna date. He never has much of an opinion on things that were important to her, like marriage. He also mentions he never specifically thought of Marie when in prison until the end. He did still have some softer moments to himself where he craved her touch or her scent. But when dating him, those moments would be better expressed between the two of them. What if we take Marie’s point of view into account? Would he be datable then?

Marie probably saw Meursault as a more reserved yet caring guy. Since she never really found out how he truly felt, she might have seen him as the average boyfriend. He made the first move with her at the beach by asking her to the movies later that night after spending a good amount of time together. Sounds romantic. They spent more time together across the book, which allowed Marie to develop more feelings for him. Even when they went to the beach house, it was more like something that couples do. Even after Meursault was in jail, she still took her time to visit him and write him until the very end. In her eyes, I think she saw him as a good boyfriend despite his internal monologue the readers got.

However, the real question as the reader, would we date Meursault? Knowing his true intentions, I would not date him. He does have his moments that redeem him, like his longing for another, but that could easily be applied to anyone. Being in a relationship with Meurasult seems to be very one-sided at times, which does not make him very dateable.

Did You Hear The Story About The Pencil?

Albert Camus’ The Stranger reminds me of a bar of soap that I gifted to my dad in sixth grade for his birthday. The soap’s packaging read, “Nihilism soap; there’s nothing. Like it.”

I recognize that The Stranger is a novel of existentialist thought, and not as much one of nihilism. However, I do see Meursault’s demeanor as echoing some of the ideas of nihilism. Time after time, we hear our protagonist state, “it doesn’t matter,” “it didn’t matter,” presenting himself as this irresponsible man who doesn’t care about how any of his actions impact other people. In repeatedly saying such gloomy things, he might be trying to convince himself that life truly is meaningless and therefore there is nothing in it that should make him inclined to act in ways that benefit society or those around him. While existentialism supports the notion that the meaning of life is life itself, nihilism refutes even this point and basically rules out all existence of meaning. It is the ultimate absurdity.  

Part of me wants to agree with this perspective of life. I sometimes think to myself, how can things as intangible as love, or elation, or sorrow actually exist in a world full of such concrete concepts as chemistry and biology – things that seem to be the true makeup of life? Then I think, wow that is a really depressing way to view my experience on earth. Maybe life really is pointless. But that doesn’t mean that the lives we as individuals lead are void of impactful connections – are incapable of influencing the emotions and behaviors of others. If everyone lived like life didn’t matter, what would make anything feel worthwhile? Maybe humans create problems and spend so much time figuring out solutions because we are so afraid of the possibility of nothingness, and I find that completely reasonable. I believe that people should continue to strive to gain knowledge on their surroundings and the people around them. They should continue to hold strong in their sense of faith, whether that be in humanity, God, or some other essence of life, because if that faith makes people feel valued and important, why shouldn’t they continue believing in it?



Benjamin Fields’ Theory of Human Identity

When you describe someone to someone else, you list things about them that are different from others, or differentiable traits, such as hair color, skin tone, hair type/length, height, etc. This is because of the way our society defines individuals, by their differences.

The more important fact, however, is whether or not this is a good thing. Jessica Benjamin believes this system to be flawed; if we define ourselves solely by comparison and differences in power, we find ourselves in unequal relationships with others. Assuming we follow her advice to an absolute, how do you know who is who when everyone is the same, a full human being. You may have someone’s name to define them, but if the only important factor is that everyone is completely equal, how will you equate the face to the name. For this reason, comparison is a necessary part of our human society, one in which individuality matters.

This is not to say Jessica Benjamin theory of mutual recognition is garbage and should be dismissed, as like I said this would be following it even beyond its defined measures. It is rather to say that both comparison and mutual recognition must be used in tandem to forge a better human society, as everything in Benjamin’s theory still holds truth. The question, per say, is where the line should be drawn between the two. Where should comparison stop, and where should mutual recognition start.  

I don’t have a definitive answer to this question, as it is both complicated and beyond the scope of my knowledge, but here is my theory. In our current society, we compare almost every facet of our lives to those of others. However, the main way humans use this comparison is self belittling. We compare ourselves to those with more than us, in money, fame, skill, etc. Therefore we should begin to draw lines on what should and should not be compared. Firstly, what you should compare to others may vary from person to person. For example, someone who plays soccer professionally should compare his/herself to his/her peers, as it is a way to both improve on oneself and recognise other achievements. However, fans of said player should compare his/herself to the professional players, as they are much more practiced in the skill, and the fan has little to gain from such comparison. Which brings me to my next point.

There can be scales to our comparison with others. In the fan example, you can compare your skills to those of the player, however you find the pale in comparison. If you, however, take the difference as a recognition of their immense skill, rather than your lack thereof, there is much more to gain. 

For another example, comparison of one’s physical appearance has increased massively since the inception of social media. The average person will look at someone who is in better shape than them, due to a combination of time, effort, genetics, drugs in some cases, and in others even altered completely, and find themselves as lesser. It is these unfair comparisons that we make that are truly detrimental to our psyche. It is much more important to make a comparison under the assumption that you are not lesser because you are unfit to be better, but rather you are lesser in this moment because of the factors I mentioned above. With this preconception, we can make a comparison that is fair to our circumstances and provides benefit to both parties involved.

In conclusion, there are certain times where inside of blindly saying, “I’m so much worse than them, I suck”, think about why that may be and if you’re being fair to yourself. Additionally, it’s okay to not compare yourself to others all the time, but rather just recognize that you’re both human beings, and that alone makes you equal. You both face the loom of death and all other enviableities that all humans are subject too.

The Silent Epiphany

Meursault’s epiphany on existence is not only shown through his sudden outburst to the chaplain, but can also be seen in a structural shift itself.

In Chapter 2 of Part 2 of The Stranger, the structure of the paragraphs shifts from frustration-to-longing to a frustration-to-acceptance writing style, which helps us understand Meursault’s epiphany about the absurdity of existence.

At the beginning of chapter 2, when Meursault said he felt his “life coming to a standstill (72)”, he went on to explain that he was tormented by his desires for women, cigarettes, and to be on the beach. His desires for physical reward are what I believe Camus deems as meaningless in a world that is indifferent to one’s needs.

 

The true challenge of human existence is the idea that people may search for  life’s meaning their entire lives, but nothing will come out of it due to the absurdity of the world. When you choose to accept the absurdity of life itself, you will achieve genuine freedom from the chase of a socially constructed purpose, even if others may not accept it.

Meursault develops this idea in the sense that his indifference to the world is, in a way, how Meursault accepts the universe’s meaningless purpose and allows for a greater sense of individuality than other people. He did not seek out a purpose in his life but rather accepted that things would happen inevitably, such as death.

His acceptance and indifference towards what others deem is “meaningful” to life backfires when in court he is seen as “emotionless” and “insane,” both socially constructed ideas.

His views on life have caused unrest in other people’s lives, but not his own. It only leads to his death, something Meursault sees as inevitable. Why this fate?

In my opinion, Camus decided to make Meursault’s fate an execution as a way to show how social constructs people have confirmed to may not align with your thinking, but it is when you accept your thinking that you achieve freedom.

At the end of the day (or night, for Meursault), and when you can think back on your life, you will not think about the FRUSTRATION/longing, but you will think about your FRUSTRATION/questioning. Questioning your decisions you made in your life will bring you no satisfaction. The only satisfaction and purpose that will come out of your life will be defined off of what accepted as the truth, not questioning it’s reasons.

There Is No Meaning To Life

According to the recent discussions we have had in class recently, the meaning of life is not a simple answer. To begin, the idea that life has a deeper meaning behind it is a long thought thing, for millions of years, people have believed, in order for their life to have real purpose, there has to be an external cause. But is that really the case? Are the materialist things we crave in our life really what make our life worth living? This biological phenomenon we refer to as life means nothing and everything at the same time. It means nothing at the end of our life, thinking about the roller coasters faced at each year of our life. But it means everything to know who we turned out to be. It means everything at the end of our life to understand how the events and situations we’ve experienced in our lives have shaped up into the person we know we were meant to become. It is not a straight path, or a guaranteed one, but ultimately, a forever changing one. our lives are always changing and surprising us with new things. though it is uncertain how it will turn out, how we live it and who we choose to be will be our lasting mark in the world.

Religion Viewed Through Absurdity or as Justification for Actions?

Throughout history, religion has been at the forefront of humanity, portrayed in positive and negative means. The Spanish Inquisition and Salem Witch Trials both stemmed from religious beliefs that created an “us vs them” ideology leading to a great amount of deaths. However, through events/periods such as the Great Awakening or the Reformation, religion led to an expansion of society. Through these contrasting usages of religion, it is interesting to see how it is used and viewed as either justification for actions, or viewed as completely absurd and unnecessary, as nothing more than a human construct.

Given our conversations surrounding existentialism and religion, I think that these  ideas greatly play out in The Stranger. During the trial, Meursault is continuously bombarded with the prosecutors religious views being placed on him, despite having stated he didn’t believe in god. In fact, throughout the entire story, people utilize god in an effort to describe Meursault as either evil or in need of help. The prosecutor utilizes god in an effort to dehumanize -almost demonizing- Meursault, while the priest uses god to remind Meursault of his humanity. This usage of religious views seems to be quite absurd and lends to the idea that it is a construct: people utilize religion to fit their own views of the world, essentially picking and choosing the aspects they wish to follow. In this case, the prosecutor chooses to believe in the negative aspects in terms of the devil and demonic possession whereas the priest chooses to believe in the grace of God and self-forgiveness. However, this could potentially play out the exact same way when using religion as justification for actions, which I find to be incredibly interesting. Upon viewing these same interactions between Meursault and the others, it seems to be that they are attempting to prove Meursaults character through religious standpoints. The prosecutor is determined to prove Meursault as evil because he doesn’t believe in god while, directly contrasting this, the priest attempts to prove to Meursault of his capacity for good by asking him to essentially “find” god. In both cases, the religious views of others are placed on Meursault, forcing him onto a predetermined path as either a sociopath or a man in need of forgiveness.

Essentially, what I find interesting is the different ways religion is woven into the story and the different roles it plays. First, it comes from others attacking Meursault for not believing in god -not following societal “norms”- but then quickly changes to those same persons utilizing god to get Meursault to prove something, despite him stating multiple times he doesn’t believe in god.

Puppet Show

In our class discussion about existentialism, “theater of the absurd” was mentioned, and I wanted to see if I could connect it to something in my niche of interest. As I was thinking of different media that could connect to this concept, I thought back to one of CYSO’s (Chicago Youth Symphony Orchestra) spring concerts where we performed Petrushka by Igor Stravinsky. This work fell into my niche of Russian art (My mom is Russian, and I lived there for a year. I spent a majority of my time in theaters, museums, and showcases.), and I wanted to explore it through the lens of the “theater of the absurd.” 

To start, I want to give some context on the piece itself. This work holds a large significance in the arts as a whole. Firstly, this work was originally a ballet meant to be performed by Diaghilev’s Ballets Russes. This dance company holds an important position in the history of dance as the Ballets Russes troupe pushed the envelope in terms of style, choreography, and performance. They performed their productions in Paris during the early 20th century and were constantly met with outrage from the public who, at the time, was revolted by the dance troupe’s departure from traditional performance. Arguably of equal significance is Petrushka’s legacy on the world of classical music. Stravinsky’s work in the beginning of the 20th century broke the preceding norms of classical music. His use of dissonance, complex rhythm, and new approach to musical form broke away from the somewhat rigid traditions of classical music and opened the door for experimentation in the ways in which composers convey a message. These complexities made Petrushka a stand alone work, pushing it past being just a ballet score. 

Now that I gave you a perhaps unnecessary recap of the significance of the play, here is how I believe it connects to our conversation about existentialism. In the ballet and score, Petrushka has a defined narrative. It follows Petrushka, a living puppet who experiences love, jealousy, and despair, ultimately leading to his death. To me, Petrushka represents the human condition. His character is a puppet, meant to highlight the lack of radical subjectivity humans have. Throughout the story, he searches for meaning through “human systems” (i.e. love). In the end, his search for meaning through these means is futile, leaving him in a state of despair. The story follows him past death, as in the closing of the work, Petrushka taunts and curses the purposefully ambiguous “Creator” for causing his unhappiness. Ultimately, I think this piece of art comments on the same things as existentialism: how the search for meaning through made up systems is done in vain. Petrushka’s story explores the binaries of freedom and confinement, the struggle of an individual in an absurd and senseless world, and the line between the illusion and reality of life.

I think it is important to mention that this work precedes the formal movement of existentialism, so I can’t formally say this is an intentional work of the “theater of the absurd”; however, I find it interesting that this work was developed and performed in France, where this philosophy would be explored a few decades later by Camus and Sartre.

If you are interested you can watch part of the film adaptation of the ballet on Youtube. It is wordless like the ballet but has more elaborate sets, costumes, and staging (I recommend reading a libretto). In some ways it is absurd simply based on the artistic choices in the music and production (you will see what I mean). Also it is important to mention that the adaption is filmed in 1990’s Russia, a time and place where blackface was acceptable in theater.

Absurd Algerian Sun

In his novel, The Stranger, Albert Camus uses the motif of the sun to represent the absurdity of life. Camus establishes and develops this motif by using extensive detail describing the effect of the sun and heat.

The first time Camus introduces this motif at the Maman’s funeral. As the funeral procession begins, Meursault takes notice of the quickly rising sun. Shortly after, he begins to complain about the heat and the brightness of the sun. For the rest of the scene, Meursault describes the sun through its effects on himself and others, recounting the overwhelming feeling of heat mixed with the surroundings (16-17). When analyzing Camus’ use of this motif, it is important to note how he does so through syntax and word choice. One of the defining characteristics of The Stranger is its simple diction, reflecting Meursault’s inner state. In this way, Camus highlights the motif of the sun, as he uses uncharacteristically descriptive language in regard to the sun.

After introducing this motif, Camus establishes it in the end of Part One. In the moments leading up to Meursault’s murdering the Arab, Camus uses nearly two pages to describe the intensity of the heat (58-59). Not only does Camus use an unusual amount of detail to describe the heat, but the words and phrases he uses, point to the sun bearing down on Meursault both physically and mentally.

These two examples show how Camus introduces and establishes the motif of the Sun; however, the motif on its own does not have an explicit meaning. In my opinion, the Sun represents the absurdity of life. In class, we talked about how part of existentialism is recognizing the systems in which we place our beliefs in an attempt to give life meaning. Also, we came to the conclusion that, taken objectively, life is full of random suffering and senseless death or, in other words, absurd. This conversation uncovered the motif of the Sun to me.

The first time we see Camus employ the motif is at Maman’s funeral. Family was one of the systems that we established as “made up,” and I believe that Camus specifically chose this moment to include the “absurd sun” because it was the reader’s first example of how the systems we have created to give meaning to life, ultimately have no significance in the face of the absurdity of life. After introducing this motif of absurdity, Camus then uses it again the scene with the Arab. This connected to another thing that was brought up in the class talk: radical subjectivity, or radical autonomy. I believe this facet of existentialism is also explored through Meursault. Central to radical subjectivity is deconstructing and removing “human systems” from influencing your decisions. In my opinion, what Meursault does on the beach, though radical, is an example of someone who has removed any societal norms from their subconscious. Not only this, but through the entire scene, the Sun plays an important role. It not only represents the absurdity of senseless death happening every day, but also how the absurdity of life itself can lead people to abandon what we consider to be “human.”

This is my take on what the motif of the Sun represents, but I also recognize that this motif could represent a variety of ideas, perhaps as Camus intended.

Existentialism and The Stranger in Modern Media

In The Stranger by Albert Camus, existentialism constantly shows up as a theme and idea. During the 20th century, existentialism gained popularity and criticism alike, and while not directly supporting or condemning it, The Stranger tells a story from the perspective of an existentialist. The Stranger became incredibly popular, and its influence and ideas can be seen in modern media today. For example, in the HBO Series, The Sopranos, AJ Soprano, the son of mob boss Tony Soprano, is assigned The Stranger in a school assignment. Throughout the next couple of episodes, AJ is seen echoing existentialist talking points. For example, when he is scolded for stealing his mom’s car with his friends, his mom remarks on how he could have killed them if he had gotten into an accident. He begins to talk about how that would have been interesting since it would reflect the absurdity and life and remarks on how death is a strong example of this absurdity. While in the show, these moments are mainly used in comedic fashion, these ideas come directly from existentialist works. The show deals with these same existential ideas more seriously when it consistently tackles the meaning of life and its absurdity through therapy sessions with the main character, Tony Soprano. Throughout the show, Tony frequently visits his therapist, Dr Melfi. In these sessions, Tony discloses his feelings of emptiness and anxiety despite continuing to gain wealth and power.  The show comments on his existential nature by showing that these social constructs do not provide him any real satisfaction, as he becomes more paranoid of his own fragile mortality.

Stranger – Jhené Aiko

In 2011, on her 23rd birthday Jhené Aiko released an album called Sailing Soul(s), which featured a song called “stranger”. Throughout the song Jhené is expressing her feelings towards many of her relationships failing and how she feels about the people she surrounds herself with (specifically men). She mentions repeatedly meeting the same guy over and over again and constantly getting the same outcome using lyrics like “Stranger, I cannot tell you how many there has been that were just like you” or “familiar time, familiar place, starting to feel a familiar shame”. She is singing about the times she found comfort in a person because of how alike they were to someone in her past, highlighting the feeling of having something familiar yet so different.

When I first read the title of Albert Camus’s novel I immediately thought of this song. In the book Meursault does not put in efforts to live up to social expectations and he doesn’t care to please those around him, hence him being a “stranger” to society. The song relates to the book because it reflects on Aiko’s encounters with meeting someone who is distant and emotionally unavailable much like Meursault. The idea of human experience and all the absurd things you go through in life is reflected through both of these pieces, showing that it is both unexpected and unavoidable.

Although the artist is singing about her unpleasant experiences with these said strangers, and Meursault embodies the stranger, they both are used to reveal the discomfort that comes with facing reality. Aiko related the idea of existentialism to being stuck in a constant cycle of hollow relationships and being forced to find yourself while Camus reflects it through Meursaults differences from the world, regardless both emphasize the importance of self understanding.

The Existentialism of Elation

In the game Honkai Star Rail, there exists one of my favorite science fiction worlds. Although I’ve mostly stopped playing due to its increasingly predatory gameplay, I still love the lore.

In the HSR universe, someone who reaches the highest point of an ideal ascends and becomes a deity known as an Aeon. They preside over their ideal, or “path” and grant strength to those who believe in it strongly enough. Paths include The Hunt (decisive perseverance), The Erudition (pursuit of knowledge), The Nihility (nihilism), The Beauty (self-explanatory), and my personal favorite, The Elation (existentialism) among others.

The Elation is presided over by the Aeon Aha. It is described as such in game:

“When the Aeon of Elation climbed to the highest branch on the Tree of Existence, they saw the cold and despicable void, the stars operating like machinery, and how the meaning of all things bows before nothingness. They continued looking until they saw a baby fall to the ground and cry because it had been wronged. The Aeon burst into laughter, laughter so clear it tore through the cold universe and still reverberates through the universe today.

[Followers of the Elation] believe that the truth of the world is a joke, and that the ultimate meaning of all things lies in mere laughter. The universe is merciless, but there is joy to eliminate pain, dilute sorrow, resist nihilism, and heal wounds. Laughter, the gift of intelligent races, is the only answer.”

Many of the followers call themselves Masked Fools. This has a double meaning, as they like to take on the role as the universes jesters. They are also disregarded as fools by those who cling to things like love, wealth, and success. The parallels to the lecture on existentialism are clear.

The Aeon Aha (above)

The Stranger – Existentialism and Absurdism

Albert Camus, author of The Stranger, was also a famous French philosopher during the 1900s. He is known for his theories surrounding existentialism: the search for the meaning in a meaningless universe. However, he is more known for the idea of absurdism: that reality is irrational and meaningless. 

Already in the first three chapters of The Stranger, themes of existentialism and absurdism can be seen. Life seems pointless and mundane. Short sentences, frequent punctuation, and straightforward and unemotional narration, and all contribute to this idea that life is devout of emotion and meaning. The narrator, Meursault, spends a lot of time looking out his window and observing the world. He sees people lollygagging around essentially wasting time, and feels nothing about it, him being detached from the world. Instead of writing about feelings, Camus writes about sensory experiences, using heat, light, or physical discomfort to display detachedness. 

I’m curious how Camus will explore the concept of existentialism further. Were these choices intentional or do they simply just reflect Camus’ inner subconscious beliefs?

AI Is Here!

Artificial Intelligence has been a well known and well talked about part of Computer Science ever since Alan Turing’s 1950 paper titled “Computing Machinery and Intelligence”. Since then it has been used to describe everything from a stitched together group of if statements to Transformers with hundreds of billions of neurons (it should be mentioned that while these “neurons” are modeled after biological neurons, they function more similarly to mathematical operators and logic gates). Only recently, however, have we had AI that can pass as humans in their diction and prose. Does this mean that human writing will come to an end? No, at least not with current models.

Firstly, and most significantly, AI needs human data in order to function. Not only will it require more human writing to keep up with linguistic change and current events, it is also constantly in need of more training data. Current day AI companies have not been resorting to what is effectively theft of intellectual property for the fun of it. AI models with limited data are subject to a process known as overfitting, wherein an AI model becomes familiar enough with training data that it can simply memorize how to analyze everything and get a higher score than if it learned how to solve each problem. Due to how fast AI models have to evolve, they are in constant need of new data, meaning new human writing. Couple this with other problems such as generational loss and AI is dependent on human writing.

To add on to that, AI is wrong, constantly. Current AI models aim first and foremost to make grammatically correct, coherent sentences. Anything else, such as the truth, is secondary. AI “hallucinations” are a well documented phenomenon which is incredibly difficult to fix. While AI is getting better and better and finding reliable sources and tools are being made to fix this, it is still a large problem. This all goes without mentioning temperature. Temperature, when referring to LLMs, is a parameter that effectively determines how random the AI chooses to be. AI with high temperature will generate more interesting and varied sentences than an AI with low temperature. It should go without saying that a high temperature also introduces a chance for the AI to say something wrong. Many current AI models use high temperatures as people want sentences that sound more human and even a little random which means that these errors are also likely to stay for a while.

There are of course, many other reasons that human writing is preferable to AI, most notably the energy cost. AI takes around a bottle of water to generate a 100 word prompt whereas I managed to write this 500 word post while only drinking half a water bottle. This also isn’t to say that there is nothing to worry about and soon AI will be going the way of the dinosaurs. For now, however, it is likely that human writing will still be preferable to AI writing for everyone but the writer.

Lessons from Meursault and Janina

Throughout this year, the books we read challenged me to think about the way I am living my life. The two books that I enjoyed the most were Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk and The Stranger by Albert Camus. In addition to enjoying them, they had a lasting impact on how I view morality, justice, and the idea of meaning in life.

Janina, the main character of Drive Your Plow, was a character that I had almost no relation to. Her studies of astrology and passion for animal rights seemed strange and annoyed me. But as the story progressed, I began to see how deeply she cared about justice and her beliefs. Even when no one took her seriously, she stayed true. I am at a time in my life where people try to tell you what to believe. Her strong sense of right and wrong, especially when others judged her, was a characteristic that I admired. Even though I disagree with Janina on a lot of topics I would like to have the confidence that she has.

On the other hand, Meursault from The Stranger represented a very different characteristic. He doesn’t express emotions the way society expects him to, and from the outside perspective seems disconnected from the world.  As the story went on I started to think that he might be more observant and connected to the world than everyone else. His story got me to think about what really matters in the world. 

Janina and Meursault, to me, represent two ends of a spectrum. Janina cared about the world around her so much that she went to extreme lengths to protect her values. Meursault had pretty much no cares in the world. What I took away from these two characters is that somewhere on the spectrum of caring there is a happy medium. My final takeaway is this: “Stick to your principals, but don’t worry about what’s outside of your control.”

How “The Stranger” and “King Lear” are more than just books.

Honestly, these were the only two books that gripped me. I’m not sure what it was exactly that invited me into their worlds, but it was definitely something. The stranger impacted me on a deeper level than just a story. It had more depth than most things I’ve seen on a screen or page. Meursault’s character arc and development are innovative and new for their time. It impacted me on a level that forced me to look into myself and my own life to find any similarities and differences. Because, like all of us, there are many admirable and poor things about Meursault. This paradox is that these attributes are exactly the same. His admirable quality is that he does not care; he is a free man(until about halfway through) and lives his life guilt-free. While this exists, the poor thing about him is that he does not care. He is numb to things to the point where it makes him seem inhuman. In this way, he is one of the most unrelatable we’ve read about. The good parts of Meursault have inspired me to live my life how I want, without the looming expectations or opinions of others, and have given me a newfound confidence in myself.

Secondly, King Lear is one of the most influential pieces of writing that I believe inspires many movies and other books today. But for me, I feel that the stories and lessons throughout are ones everyone can learn from. Such as truthfulness, loyalty, and even bonds between family and friends. Many of the consequences in the book are started by lies and betrayal. Which can be translated to real life. Many conflicts in real life could be avoided if these things were avoided as well. Personally, I can translate these lessons into my own life and learn from my own actions. The book itself was influential with its characters and plot points, and these are the reasons why it was influential to me personally, and can impact me for years to come.

Once a Stranger

I died today.

Well I guess that’s not really true. At the very least, it’s quite misleading. See life, death, it’s all just a matter of perspective. It just depends where you’re looking from, and what the view is. From here, the view looks pretty damn amazing. I can see the flash of lightning, hear the crack of thunder, feel the air rushing past me, the rain against my face. Now this, this is the sensation that makes you forget where you are, what is happening, and crucially: who you were four hours ago. And that’s a good thing, because I really need to forget four hours ago. For the sake of the here and now, I wouldn’t be able to tell you what happened then. You know, because of the whole forgot who you were thing that I just said. But for the sake of the story, there’s so much you have to learn. 

See, the night before had ended in a way that I’m not quite proud of. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve had a night I’m proud of in the last couple of years. But this one was especially poor. After what felt like the longest of days and the most unfortunate of nights. I found myself with little to protect me from the rain but an overpass. And not a particularly well built one either. But it was the one I had chosen to find a bit of comfort from the cold and damp world and it was where I chose to pretend to sleep. I say that I was pretending to sleep because that allows me to believe that where I was was in my control and what I was doing was in my control. In actuality, I was trying to sleep, but I couldn’t. I’m gonna make a wild guess and say that it was probably the bridge, it can’t be my fault. I was up and walking at 4. Pretending gets harder when the thunder starts to mumble.

But the rain hadn’t begun to hit just yet and I didn’t care that it was obvious it was about to. That and the fact that bridges aren’t as waterproof as once thought. Anyways, I walked along the road. I think at this point it was LeSalle Boulevard, or was it Wayne? I was looking for a place to eat some breakfast. I had this craving for some eggs. Like the eggs that I had had when I was 10, back on the farm. I’ve still never had eggs that taste like that. It was about 5 by the time that I was able to find some semblance of civilization. Then it took me another 15 minutes to find the church. I figure a church has to have some food for the weak and weary even though I had never stepped foot into a church before. 

There was only one man in there. It seemed to me like he was whispering the sermon he would give later that night, which would make him the preacher. So I started a conversation with him. I asked him his name, “Lear,” he said. He looked to be on the older side, “91” was the answer when I asked him his age. And we began to talk. After about 15 minutes of talking, he offered me the breakfast that I had been looking for since I had woken up. But I didn’t want it anymore. In our conversation, I learned that he had cancer. The doctors had said that he had only a few months left to live. Now I had to learn how this man had come to terms with his life ending. I mean how can someone learn that they’re just going to stop living, allow everything to fade to black, and just stop being? Well that happens to everyone, but how could someone be okay with it?

I talked to the preacher for 2 more hours about his life. He told me about his daughters, his career, and his hobbies. I felt like this man’s life was flashing right in front of me. I learned about his love for fishing. He told me about all his great fishing stories- the bass, the marlin, the time that he spent a month straight on the boat. He had done everything he wanted and he disregarded the thoughts of society-something that I had not done yet, something I needed to do. I realized at that moment that I had somewhere to be. I thanked the preacher for the conversation and I told him that I had my own “fishing” stories to make, and I left.

 I walked for 40 minutes to find the plane. It was now pouring rain, the storm had become volatile. I had never flown it before, but I knew it was there and I knew there was something I had to do. I walked into the cockpit to find the plane running, which was quite convenient. It occurred to me that I had never flown a plane, but it was time for me to make a choice that I would remember. Somehow, I was able to start the plane, but the rain in front of me was blinding while I was on the ground, so I began to move forward. I just drove to speed up as much as I could, I just continued to speed up. And suddenly, I found myself in the air. The sound of the engine was deafening, the only thing that broke it up was the thunder above-the thunder that I was heading towards the source of. 

The plane continued to climb and the rain was no longer blocking my view. I looked down to see the beauty below. This was the life that I was looking for, the life that would allow me to die peacefully. See now, for those of you keeping track at home, it was 4 hours after the start of my day. This was the sensation and the feeling that allowed everything to fade away. But in a flash of light and one last mumble of thunder, the plane was split in two. It was a crash louder than I had ever heard and it was the brightest light that I had ever experienced in my life. I found it quite ironic that the brightest light was followed by such great darkness. This darkness was one that I could not see past. I found myself in the moment that I had dreaded and avoided my entire life. I spent my life incredibly scared of this, but here I was now, with no worries or doubts about my future. I was finally fulfilled.

In my mind I could see myself falling to my demise, but the darkness that filled my eyes remained. But this was my chance to finally open my eyes. And for one last second I was able to open my eyes and feel the ground approaching faster than I could possibly fathom.

Lessons I Learned from “The Stranger” and “Pride and Prejudice”

When I first read The Stranger by Albert Camus, I hated Mersault. His indifference to major moments like his mom’s death, his lack of work ethic, and his choice to help people like Raymond made him a dislikeable character who was hard to relate to. However, as much as I critiqued Mersault for his actions, his philosophy stuck with me. Mersault lived how he chose to live and in the end he ends up happy. By making Mersault do universally hated things like murder and still end up happy at the end of the book, Camus argues that things people believe to be true like meaning to life and morality are only illusions. And the fact that me and most other people don’t like Mersault’s actions only supports this point. Because life has no objective purpose, the protests of characters in the book and our protests to Mersault are meaningless. Mersault still lived a life that fulfilled him and made him happy.

Reading The Stranger helped me live a more carefree and enjoyable life. Instead of focusing on the things that people say lead to a good life, I started thinking about what I want to do in my life. By thinking about life without focusing on what other people believe, I was able to learn things about myself and live a more free life. I realized that I would rather live a life that makes me happy instead of living in a way that people traditionally consider successful.

Similarly, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen helped to reinforce and build on ideas I learned in The Stranger. In Pride and Prejudice, most characters care about status and use marriage as a way to gain power. However, just like in The Stranger, Elizabeth goes against societal norms and marries based on who she actually likes. And just like Camus, Austen chooses to make Elizabeth happy at the end of the book to show that her way of living is a positive way to live.

Pride and Prejudice solidified the thoughts I had after reading The Stranger by showing me the harm that following norms can cause through characters like Lydia. I learned that in order to be happy I need to make decisions based on my own opinions and not the opinions of others. By following my own intuition, I might make decisions that I regret but it will lead to a life that I want to live based on my own ideas.

My Family’s Favorite Rick and Morty Episode – A Satire Tackling Mental Health Crisis, The Follies of Capitalism, and Ethical Consumption

When my father, younger sibling, and I turned on Risk and Morty to watch together on a Friday night, we were surprised by the suicide and mental health warning at the beginning of the episode. Yet, by the end of the episode, we all knew that out of 7 seasons we’ve watched, this was our favorite episode.

“That’s Amorte”, Season 7, Episode 4 of Rick and Morty begins with the family scarfing down their favorite meal, spaghetti. But when Rick goes to get more spaghetti, Morty walks in on him scooping it out of a dead person in his lab.

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THIS SHIT WITH YOU

– Morty (Rick and Morty)

Rick reveals that his famous spaghetti is made on another planet. A planet in which when people kill themselves, they turn into delicious suicide spaghetti. Morty (in a bout of frustration) admits to the people of this planet that most creatures in the universe would consider the insides of their suicide victims to be tasty. The planet rushes to allow assisted suicides for all those who may need it to sell the “suicide spaghetti” to all the other local planets.

Soon, the leader of the suicide spaghetti planet begins to take greater measures, installing a fluorescent light to replace the sun, destroying cities, and making everyone’s life as miserable as possible, all to increase spaghetti production, claiming that “Our economy has never been better”.

Now later in this episode, Rick and Morty work to develop a solution to the suicide spaghetti problem, with wars breaking out, abominations of nature being created, and it all ending with the CEO of Lego saving the world. However, the concept is all that is needed for the focus of this blog post.

This episode plays on very dark concepts, those that the people in my family have had to face head-on. But through all the jokes a point is made.

Capitalism in the United States has created a world in which people are often seen as products instead of humans. They are worth nothing more than what they can produce. In this episode, the writers use hyperbole to express that treating people as products leads to mental health crisis and that leaders continue to ignore the needs of the people, as long as profits are staying up.

In this episode, the writers throw the consequences of greedy Capitalism right in your face. Creating a parody of the current state of the economy, dramatized for comedic effect.

My personal favorite touch of the episode is the fluorescent white used in replacement of the sun. Not only does this play on the fluorescent lights used in schools and offices which make people miserable, but it also makes a point to be something that also impacts the leader of the suicide spaghetti planet. That is to say, in an effort to make everyone’s lives worse for profit, the leader of this planet is also making their day-to-day life worse. What was once a leader of a thriving society becomes a money-hungry monster, indirectly killing people for profit.

Despite the hyperbole, it’s important to acknowledge the similarities to reality. How many people have died from lung cancer after mining coal for a businessman all their life? How many people have put their mental and physical health at risk to get in more hours at work? How many people have died from starvation and lack of drinking water while leaders sit in their hot tubs with a charcuterie board?

The reason why Rick and Morty is the only show my whole family can agree to watch (excluding squid game) is because while my younger sibling may enjoy the crass humor, my dad can enjoy the commentary made on society. 

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